What with the Royal wedding in London and my sister getting married in Sydney, there’s a lot of wedding talk right now. Not least because ask a man to give a speech, and you’re suggesting the one thing which he probably fears most – public speaking. It even has a name - 'glossophobia'. I’ve given a lot of speeches over the years – here are my top tips on how to give the perfect wedding speech.

There aren’t many occasions when a man is expected to give a speech. There are work presentations, which usually involve a PowerPoint slideshow with far too many pie charts and acronyms and not enough jokes. On the other hand, there are the drunken, perched-on-a-chair-or-table bar speeches, which have more jokes, more laughs and not enough sense. For me, wedding speeches sit somewhere in between.

What, where and why

At its most basic, a speech is simply someone trying to enlighten an audience about something relevant. It might be interesting, it might be witty, but it really ought to tell them something new. At a wedding, the ‘toastmaster’ may speak a fair bit, but he’s really only introducing others. 

The key speeches will likely be by the father of the bride, the best man and the groom. Increasingly, the bride may stand up to say a few words, if only to show off her dress again, of course.

Top tips for giving a speech

1. Be heard. Annunciate – speak clearly and slower than normal, so your words can be digested along with the meal, and be heard at the back, where most of the drinking usually takes place. Slow is good.
2. Be balanced. Everyone’s expecting laughs, but they’re expecting some sentimentality too, a semblance of the truth and to be enlightened. Make sure you give them all of it.
3. Be inclusive. It’s not just your friends who are there – extended family (some aged) won’t appreciate swearing, and may not get any ‘in’ jokes.
4. Be brief. A short speech is a good speech, in my opinion, but timing is everything. Say what you need to say, take the audience on a journey and end it before they start shuffling in their seats.
5. Be prepared. Rehearse your speech. A lot. Have cue cards with your main points, but commit plenty to memory and it will flow naturally.
6. Be sober. It bears repeating. Be sober. You know why.

There are more great tips for public speaking on the Toastmasters International website and some interesting insights in this article from The Times newspaper in London.

Of course, if you’re spending more of your time being the best man and not enough time being considered groom-worthy, then you’d better read my dating advice for men, and soon.