I am no shrinking violet when it comes to birthday celebrations. I figure, if there’s an entire day devoted to rejoicing that I’m alive, I of all people should be there for it. Bring on the tequila and streamers.

This attitude horrifies my friend Amy who refuses to let any birthday be damned. But if people want to be nice to me, give me gifts, buy me drinks, and feed me cake for a day, who am I to complain? Not even being force-serenaded by co-workers in ridiculous hats is going to cause me to moan.

Which is why I think Amy’s reluctance to blow out the candles is unthinkable. I. Just. Don’t. Get. It. So in response to this - I’m throwing her a surprise birthday party!

This might seem a little cruel to be inflicting on a birthday-phobe but Amy is celebrating quite a significant milestone and I really don’t want it to go unnoticed, as I am sure in the future she will actually regret letting it pass. So here is my guide on how to throw a birthday party and still remain sane (even if you end up being hated by the birthday girl!).

Guests

Where there’s a party, there’s people. Just make sure you decide on the volume of human traffic you want passing through your party venue. Make your guest list and establish whether you want to keep your party exclusive or on a ‘the more the merrier’ basis. I’ve kept my guest list for Amy rather exclusive. I want to surprise her – not scare her!

Invitations

Let your guests know about the party at least a month before the big night. It’s quite scary how quickly people’s social calendars book up and you don't want to have a whole night planned only to be spending it with your dog and 44 platters of food. To the detriment of postal offices, it’s easier to send an e-invite to all of those lucky revellers on your list. It might seem a cheap option but actually it’s a safer option as you’ll be assured the recipient gets the invitation. If you don't want your party to become an open house free for all, try to make it clear on the e-mail invitation that it is an exclusive party - or risk having the invitation forwarded on. One way of hinting this in a subtle way is by asking those invited to R.S.V.P. by a certain date, which also saves you trouble since you'll know how many people to expect.

Theme the event

Although themed parties can be rather cheesy, you can always think of a cool party theme - such as come as your favourite celebrity. You could even theme it to the year of your birthday. If you do have a theme remember to mention it on the invitation otherwise it could be embarrassing when you’re the only one in fancy dress! If you don’t decide to theme the event, just make sure you theme the décor (for example gold balloons and accessories). You don’t want the event turning into a default party where everything is just the same as another party - if you want to throw an unforgettable birthday party, you have to do something different by setting a unique theme.

Grab a photographer

You want to remember the day in photos but often the last thing on your mind during the actual party is taking pictures because you’re so busy getting the candles on the cake that the camera gets forgotten. Snag a friend to be on camera duty for the day or hire a professional. Make sure you communicate which pictures you want to have taken if you have special ones you want, but otherwise, let them just snap away. The beauty of digital cameras is that you can take tons of pictures and delete the ones that don’t work.

Music

Hiring a DJ is obviously expensive and unnecessary. Music can really make or break a party, so make sure you have a variety of music on hand. You also want to make sure that you have different music for different moods and ambiance. Having a lot of music on hand is a necessity. Your playlist should include dance, dance, and more dance! If you are unsure of your music selection, ask guests to suggest a few of their favourite songs prior to the event so you can load them onto your iPod.

Food and drink

Light snacks, cocktails, or finger foods are the way to go as opposed to a sit-down dinner. This will give people the opportunity to mingle with others, without restricting them to a designated seat at the dinner table. To avoid worrying about food preparation, a great idea is to organise a potluck dinner, where each guest brings something. This is an excellent way to get every guest involved in the preparation of the party. So just indicate on the invitation that everyone needs to bring a buffet dish. Try to have every person tell you beforehand what they plan on bringing to the party - desserts and beer are great, but not when that's the only thing on the menu…

Now on to the juicy part: the booze

Keeping your bar well stocked is a must if you are throwing a party. As with food, overestimate the amount of guests you're expecting. You never know if guests may bring dates, or if guests who declined your invitation at first, finally decide to show up. It's not a university party, so a keg of beer is not necessary - but do have the essential alcohol, mixers and condiments ready. Some beer and wine is also important to have, as well as non-alcoholic beverages for those designated drivers. And if you’re serving Champagne (well, it is a birthday party after all…) be sure to have Champagne flutes – there is nothing that will make it feel less decadent than drinking it from a random selection of vessels.

Now all the party preparation is complete,  I can’t wait to start the celebrations – that is if Amy doesn’t kill me first...