I'm a modern sort of man - I'm not really one for arbitrary rules, and I don't judge people on the way they look or where they come from. Unless they're not interested in sports - never a trust a man who has no love for sport.

But joking aside, there are a few unspoken rules about being a man, which every man worth his salt would do well to consider. Like not wearing socks with sandals - that just shows a shocking disregard for fashion. Or cancelling Friday night with the guys to go on a date. Especially if that date is an old flame of one of the Friday Night Drinks Guys. That's just wrong.

So to buying a cocktail. From choosing the right spirit to getting it served in the right glass and leaving out the umbrellas and greenery. Here are my top tips for ordering cocktail drinks from the bartender like a man. Because it's details like that which count, to men AND to women.

Choosing the right alcohol and mixers

You wouldn't think spirits had genders, but they do. Tequila? Manly. Whisky? Manly. Rum? Mostly manly. Vodka and gin? Depends entirely on the mixer. Why? No-one's entirely sure, but when you think about it, it does seem to make sense.

Some basic rules about drink selection:

• Bitterness equals manliness - a cocktail involving Angostura bitters is almost always a manly drink. Same too with sours. If it's sickly sweet, it's one for the ladies. The only exception? The mojito, which has bucketloads of sugar syrup, cancelled out by the bitterness of mint leaves.
• House spirits hurt - cheap house spirits are for the man who doesn't know what he's about at a bar, or can't afford quality. Expensive doesn't necessarily mean better, but know which brands agree with you and opt for them.
• Avoid silly cocktail names - is ordering a 'wittily' named woo-woo or sex on the beach going to kill off your chances with that woman at the bar? Not necessarily. But would YOU trust a man who ordered one? Avoid.
• Opt for manly colours - a pink, orange, red or any combination thereof, is going to stretch the plausibility of manliness. Manly colours are clear, brown, amber or off-white cloudy (or mojito - the exception to every rule).

Appropriate cocktail glasses

It seems obvious, but having your cocktail served in the right sort of glass is crucial. Heck - getting it served in a glass is important enough.

1. No plastic glasses - because plastic isn't glass, it's cheap.
2. No champagne glasses - because champagne cocktails such as a bellini tend to suit a woman's tastes. Although that said, they have a place for men in the sunshine.
3. Martini glasses - you're on shaky ground here, as these can look unmanly. Critical factor is the choice of cocktail. James Bond made these shallow v-shaped glasses work.
4. High-balls - these tall, chunky glasses are en-route to manliness.
5. Tumblers - these are manly receptacles. The heftier the base on these stubby, wide glasses, the better.

Ordering a cocktail can sometimes be like Russian roulette - it's not always obvious what type of glass it's going to be served in. Ask before ordering, if you don't want an unmanly surprise.

Cocktail accessories

There's only one rule with cocktail accessories - don't.

'Would you like a straw with that, sir?' 'No thanks, I know how to drink from a glass unaided'.

Same too the foldable paper umbrella. What exactly are you shielding your drink from?

Do you want a fruit salad with your cocktail? No - keep the fruit add-ons and greenery to a minimum. Exceptions are the mint in a mojito and cocktails with a crystallised lemon or orange twist.

Five manly cocktails to try

1. Martini - the classic. Two parts gin, one part dry vermouth (Martini), an olive or lemon twist for garnish.
2. Old fashioned - this one's a Bourbon classic. Bourbon whisky, an orange slice, a maraschino cherry, ice and a little sugar syrup.
3. Dark and stormy - any bar worth their salt can knock up one of these. Dark rum and ginger beer over ice with a slice of lime and occasionally, Angostura bitters.
4. Espresso Martini - a real livener this one. Cold espresso, vodka, kahlua liqueur and white creme de cacao. Served slightly foamed with a coffee bean garnish.
5. Negroni - the ultimate Italian aperitif. Mind how you go with these - there's no mixer involved. One part gin, one part sweet vermouth (Martini Rosso), one part bitters (usually Campari). Wedge of orange.

There you have it - how to order a manly cocktail. But as I always say, practice makes perfect. Just mind how much practice you put in all at once...