Whether you’re a man, looking for a woman or a man, dating can feel pretty intimidating. Look at it like an adventure full of possibilities. Even if it goes badly (really, really badly!) then it’s all good material ripe for an evening with your buddies. If it goes well, you meet someone great and have an awesome night out. It’s win-win. So, first things first.

How to find a date

1. Via friends. This is a great way to meet new people. Assuming you like your friends of course. You’ll have plenty in common, it’s easy to set something up and if you go out in a group with friends it takes the pressure off the two of you.
2. Via social media like Facebook and Twitter. These both rely on you having shared friends or interests tying you together. Having something in common can make dating early on much easier. Remember, it’s a fine line between research and stalking.
3. Via work or college. You spend plenty of time at work or in college, they’re a great bunch of people and socialising with them all just seems natural. Things get a bit trickier if you’re meeting dates from work. Sure, the boss’s secretary is an attractive woman and great fun, but if things turn sour, one of you will probably want to leave. So it’s pretty high-risk stuff.
4. In a bar. The ol’ bar-or-club-pick-up is pretty much a date in itself. You’re out with friends, you spot someone you like the look of, strike up conversation and voila, you’ve got a date. They could be totally different from you, have nothing in common, and be the most interesting person you’ll ever meet. Or a total lunatic.
5. Internet dating sites. The singles columns of newspapers have gone online and there are a gazillion dating sites out there. There’s far less stigma around sites like Match.com these days and some friends have sworn by them. But know what you’re getting into and don’t pre-judge your date (i.e. on appearance).

What to do on a date

• Go to the movies to see a film. Weird one this, as you won’t speak much to your date, and film choice here is critical. But choose well and the dimmed lighting might just set you both in the right direction. Or turn this idea on its head and screen a movie on your setup at home - read how with my home cinema advice blog.
• Drinks at a bar. This is nice and non-committal. Choose a venue with a good drinks list, treat her to good Champagne and see how you get on. Move things up a notch and go on for dinner afterwards if it’s going well, or call it a night early if it’s not. Call your buddies and join them on the bar crawl you originally wanted to go to.
• Go for dinner. Opt for a restaurant rather than your own home (save that until you know each other a little better, and have a pad to be proud of). Restaurant choice here is important. Try to gauge what she’ll like in advance. Always go high-end if you can. Always pay. No discussion. Have a read of my best pan-Asian restaurants advice blog.
• Sports and activities. You could always go see a game, like watch the polo, do some adventure sports or get out and about together in the park. Anything which has you getting tactile or shouting together is a good thing. Like picking her up on your scooter.
• Blind dates. You’re going into the situation completely blind here (read about Miss H’s own blind date) so go for something low-key and non-committal. Either meet at a bar, have a restaurant booking only you know about, and play it by ear. It's got to be one-on-one - inviting her to an evening out with your friends is massively intimidating for her, and way too easy for you.

A friend of mine once texted his flatmate about how well his date was going while she was in the restaurant bathroom. “Won’t be home tonight”, he boasted. Unfortunately he texted his date the good news by mistake. She came back to find him rifling through her handbag looking desperately for her phone and the incriminating message. “Oh yes you will!” she said, clutching her phone. He never saw her again but the tale gets a great reception every time. So you win some, you lose some, just get out there and have fun.